Crisis; according to our dear friend Wikipedia is defined as any event that is, or is expected to lead to, an unstable and DANGEROUS situation affecting an individual, group, community, or whole society. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisis
Yes, dammit, a mid life crisis (if we choose to call it that) definitely renders us unstable as an individual.
Is it a crisis because we will die? No.
Is it a crisis because we will not recover? No.
Is it a crisis just because it sucks. Yes. And for lots bigger reasons.
For women, menopause brings about a hefty dose of loss. We can no longer bear children. Crucial and heartbreaking. We joke that we are happy about that and we probably don’t have the stamina for child rearing anyway. Whether we like the consequences or not it is still a loss. One we can’t change. That statement in and of itself is worthy of a whole article because loss, and lack of control are two things very few people like. In addition we suffer peripheral loss. Somewhere in mid life (sooner or later) we lose our parents, our children might move away, we retire, we might get divorced, we have health challenges.
Common denominator: loss.
When did the term “change of life” disappear? I want to resurrect it because, in my opinion, mid life crisis just makes the whole pitiful stage sound even worse if that’s possible. Change of life might sound old school to some but that’s exactly what it is, no?
Whether we consider it a crisis or not, change is inevitable. Our bodies change. Our hair changes. Our eyesight changes. Our health changes. Our sex drive changes. Our years ahead are fewer than our years behind. Our memory changes, our priorities change, our home base may even change.
Common denominator: change.
Change is good for growth I’m told. You want things to stay the same do you? Maybe. But that’s like asking the clock to stop ticking or a dog not to bark. Or you want things the way the “used” to be. C’mon peeps, you know better than that:) However, if you want things to be different you have to do them differently. And THAT you can control! Not big huge overwhelming things. Try going a different way home just to see something different. Try saying hi to someone on the street even though they don’t make eye contact with you and watch their surprise. Try touching your loved one just to be tender. Try being quiet under the shade of a tree in the park and just imagine what it’s like to be a bird or a squirrel. Try telling yourself it’s okay to age gracefully because it is one of only two options you really have. Try not finding excuses about learning something new. Maybe try a retreat like Women at Woodstock http://2016.womenatwoodstock.com, for women over 50, and discover something new and wonderful about yourself and meet a bunch of other 50 something’s who leave their bull-ony at the door and just have a good time (I’ll be there!). You’ve probably recognized that this is the time in your life when, if you haven’t already, you certainly want to be in the driver’s seat. Drive baby. Your speed. Full speed ahead!
We are all afraid of what we don’t understand. And if your road ahead seems terribly bumpy, and the pot holes have flattened your tires, call me, email me….don’t go it alone. Women united have proven they can conquer great things. I am here to help. Let me be your Change Champion!! Above all else, enjoy the ride!!