• Searching for Connection

    Do these pants make me look fat?

    Pick me!  Pick me!

    Sharing your stories on Facebook, speaking your mind on Twitter, sharing pics on Instagram and Pintrest.

    Joining the gym.  Going to church.  Volunteering.  Cooking for a pot luck dinner.

    Whether we are asking questions or starting a conversation, are waiting (praying!) to be picked for the team, posting on social media, or making random daily choices, there is one underlying common denominator: connection.

    I watched a TED talk recently about addiction and how everything we think about it is wrong. (https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong)  More importantly for me I discovered that, like in coaching, if you shift your perception, change up the mindset just 2 degrees, you see your circumstance so very differently.  It can be as simple as changing this thought: “I could never cook coq au vin, it sounds so complicated”… to this thought:  “I’ll try making coq au vin because it’s my friends favorite”.  Or it can be complex and compassionate as Johann Hari suggests in his TED talk (https://www.ted.com/speakers/johann_hari).  He researches and tells us about the (my words) pathetic persona we associate with addicts and the criminal mindset we inflict and thence punish. Yes, some addicts are criminals, and some addicts are seeking the high or the rush, yet some have lost their human connection and seek it elsewhere.  A bond is a bond, human or not.

    Anthony Robbins talks about the Six Human needs in his training and at his seminars and connection is one of them. (https://training.tonyrobbins.com/the-6-human-needs-why-we-do-what-we-do/).  Connection/Love is defined as a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something.  Bingo.  We all need connection and we all seek it out.  We find “it” if we are looking.  Bingo.  Hence how we find and what we glean from our connections is directly related to where we look for it.

    A second thought regarding connections are the connections you make whilst looking to connect.  The person who gave you directions.  The person at the bar while waiting for your table.  The taxi driver. The teacher. The blogger. The trainer. The doctor. The nurse. Opportunities for connection. Opportunities for love. Opportunity.

    Where do you find your connection?  Have you thought about connection in this way? Have you seen an addict, a homeless person, a stray dog or cat and wished you could change things for them? Or, in your mind, have they made their own bed and should lie in it? The Indigo Girls say: “how long till my soul gets it right”? In writing this post I am both sad and happy.  I am sad because I’m not sure I’ve gotten it right.  I am not certain if I’ve given this world of ours and all its tragedies enough compassion.  Again, like the Indigo Girls (that I’m listening to right now!)  I wonder I could let these lives off the hook and see them as an inspiration.  I am happy because I give thanks for my vision, my strength, my connections.  Those that I have worked very hard on.  And today I am not struggling.  I am warm and fed.

    If there is one human need that rises to the top of the list consistently it is connection and love. When these prevail in our life we also have direct connections to hope, faith, freedom from fear, and an awareness of unlimited possibilities.  Our minds can get in the way, put up blocks, create limiting beliefs, see the cup as half empty.  But our hearts feel and our guts are full of intuition.  In my coaching practice I would help you see the cup as half full. I would help you open your heart and your mind to possibility. Our end game is the same, every single one of us.  My hope is that between now and then you find love, seek connection, enjoy possibility, push away fear and take away its power. Be the love of your own life. Trust your heart.  Find new connections. Be the addict briefly and feel their pain. You don’t have to be their connection but shift perception to understand their need. And be their connection if it serves your soul.  Healthy connections regardless how brief will help keep you alive.

    Connect and share with me.  I’d love to know what you think.

    Happy February my friends.


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